liking someone

[rhyuths]

Hi shelley and all,

i am feeling kinda miserable, stuck in the phase of liking someone and not knowing if the feelings are mutual. i dont want to take the intiative since i am a girl, and its so much sweeter for him to make the first move, if he ever does.

i have only know him for 2 weeks in my new company (i am 23 years old), and he just left the company yesterday for another offer.

so i end up missing his prescence in office, guessing if he likes me, even if a little. we be meeting with another colleague on monday and i cant stop thinking of him. i dont like this one bit..i want to be in control of what i feel, and dont want to wait and sit around for him to hopefully ask me out..

also, everytime i like a guy, i think i am not good enough for him. i think that s why i am afraid to show i care, i dont want to embarass myself.

gosh shelley, u must at least have been through something similar...what do i do? i miss him..pls dont ask me to take the first step...

sorry for my raving..i need an outlet

[harmony]

Ah sweetie you have to start believing in how special and unique you are as a person.
You are special in your own way.

I know the wanting to get to know someone can be scary.
We are all people and at the base of it all with everyone is we want to be special and feel loved and appreciated.
Then there is the fear being rejected, or the feelings not being returned.
You do not have to take the initiative.
But by not expressing interest or exposing something of how you feel you risk the opportunity slipping by.

You will be seeing him Monday, so consider over the next few days what you want to do or not do. What ever you chose to do or not do is okay.

The possibility that he does not share an interest and you will be a bit uncomfortable for a few minutes, or the possibility that you express nothing and miss the potential of what might have been something.
There are no rules as to what you have to do here.
Start believing in you and others will pick up on how great you are.

Maybe he will express something maybe not. You have to remember that he is a person as well with a life of experiences and feelings that he to carries and that also shapes how able he is as a individual to take initiative.
There are so many opportunities to make friends every day.
I hope this one happens for you!
Be well

[rhyuths]

thank you for the reply... i havent liked a guy in a long time coz i told myself not to...in fact i am still telling myself that now...

it feels kind of ridiculous to be thinking of him first thing in the morning, last thing in the night..and and in between night toilet trips! ...ha...i have to get a grip on myself.

its a bittersweet experience..thank you for highlighting this from his perspective as an individual and someone on his own journey..its nice and refreshing to view it from that light..instead of me me me!

i shall keep u updated...even if nothing happens...

[ivana]

Hey girl, how it was on Monday?

I am reading your post and have to tell you that you reminded me of myself. Somehow I always had more guys as friends than girls, hanging out and talking with them was nothing new to me. But when it comes to me liking somebody, oh boy, that's when I change completely. I am so shy that nobody can recognize me. I remember when I meet my hubby, our first dates where him just talking and me just smiling. I was like a TV without a sound
The problem was that I was thinking too much about what I am going to say, how I am going to act etc. as I didn't want to embarrass myself. Because I cared about him in a whole different way.
Later on when I got to know him better, I became a real ME. He couldn't stop me talking. I would go on and on for hours.

What you need to do is to relax, think that you are special, but really do. I don't want this to sound like another cliche, but you have to do that. Act as you are with your closest friends, just be yourself. Go and talk to him, ask him about his new job, tell him how things are not the same since he left, and then watch his reaction. Go for it girl.
Otherwise you'll end up watching him from afar like me in high school. I was in love with one guy for almost 4 years.
Can you imagine that. Never even one time did I make a move? How he could have known that? All that because I was afraid of being rejected. Such a waist of time I tell you.

And so what if someone reject you, big deal. It doesn’t mean that you're not good enough for him, it's just that you wouldn't make it as a couple. And it's much better than to waste time. There is someone for everybody. YOU just have to find him.
Once you past that fear everything will be much easier.

Oh and I completely understand you when you say "and in between night toilet trips!” I am one of those that can fall in love as fast as a blink of an eye

Let me know how it was

ivana