Mom

[shelley]

MOM

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, "I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a
surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you," I
responded, "just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I would like that very much."

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on.

She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to
celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go out with
my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car.

"They can't wait to hear about our meeting". We went to a restaurant that,
although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.

My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way
through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at
me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation--nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but
only if you let me invite you." I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Some time
later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the
same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son."

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family.

~Author Unknown~

[Invincible]

That was so moving Shelley. Thanks a lot for posting it.

[alien]

Nothing like breakfast and a good morning cry... thank you Shelley that was very inspiring.

[Pam]

I was just thinking about my mom today and actually just got off the phone with her before logging on...
this is so true, it only takes a minute but stays with you for a lifetime.
Thank you Shelley

[shelley]

Awwwwwwwww!

It's actually my Mom's b-day today, must go shopping! I want to buy her a copy of The Incredibles, which just came out today on DVD. It's always a challenge to shop for her, but of course the most important thing is to simply spend TIME with her, which is difficult because we're both so busy and basically introverts.

I'm glad cultures celebrate b-days, it's a good way to make sure we remember the most important people in our lives. but of course I detest my own b-day since I refuse to grow old! LOL!

[dianna]

Thank you for that lovely post. It was not my Mom (she left me in 1995), but my Dad that was brought to mind as I was reading your post. He passed three weeks ago. When the first parent leaves, it is difficult, but when they are both gone...well, I am not sure I have to words to describe that.

Tears are healing...so thank you.

Dianna

[shelley]

oh my, I have yet to deal with that kind of loss. I still have both my parents and I expect them to live for quite awhile longer. Now that will be a major life change when they are gone, as I have a very close-knit family. We rely on each other a lot.

Having both parents gone really gives one a sense of mortality, doesn't it? I mean, when they're there, it's like we can't die because they are still alive and of course they must go first. And once they are gone, what's to keep us from being next? It's like we're that much close to our own death.

[dianna]

Yes, the mortality is one part of it, but I am not particularly afraid or concerned about death.

For me, it is that we have a very small family. I have one sister that I am not really very close to and one son who had not married yet and given me grandchildren......and I keep reminding him I am waiting!!!

So it is now mostly just my son and I making our small family feel REALLY small!! Like even with my friends, I am pretty much alone in this big world.

It is a strange feeling and not one I expected. The only other time I was blindsided by an emotion like this is when turning 50 bothered me so much. I LOVED turning 40, but hated 50.

But it all is what it is....

Dianna

[shelley]

Yes, I'm in that boat too. I have but one brother and neither of us have married or had children, and aren't likely to at this point. Ah well, so it goes!

[natesse]

Hi Shelley:

Boy, this really got to me..... I'm so emotional these days anyway with all my body systems being out of whack. My relationship with my mother was strained at best, and I have an absentee father. Mom also abandoned me at 12 years of age, and we had no relationship again until my sisters and I grew up. Mom died two years ago of breast cancer metastises. Since that time, I've been finding out that much of what I believed I knew was true about her, is actually false. I only saw one side of the coin that made up the whole woman. Jesus is showing me about the pain and hurt that she carried around all the years of her life. She had identical health problems to mine, but she was never properly diagnosed, so she lived a miserable life right up until she died. I hope and pray that my kids and I continue do better in our relationships. So far, so good..... Thanks for sharing this.

Sharon