Ryan D.

[RyanD]

oops and I think you have to go to this site and type it in, direct link doesn't work:

http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/search/

[RyanD]

Hi, everyone~

5th round chelation done. On Thursday morning I actually felt a little clearer, brain wise. I think that the Hg in my body is mostly removed, and now it's only the brain that still has a lot of it in, because I no longer get die off symptoms like in the first rounds. We'll see tho. According to Cutler each day of chelation results in 0.5-1% of the Hg being removed from the brain. So it does take a while.

I just did another liver flush last night. Woke up around 2am nauseous, sheesh. Tried to fight it off mentally for about an hour and a half, but I just couldn't take it anymore, so I ran to the washroom and hurled the GF/oil. Gross. Such a harsh physiological thing. Next time I am only using 1/3 cup of oil per dose. ANyways, I dunno if it affected the effectiveness of the flush. I did an enema this morning and saw no stones except a couple tiny ones at the very end of the enema. Usually they are in my colon by the morning, maybe this time they are "slow in coming?" Any case, I guess the bm tomorro will be more revealing. Can't have affected the results THAT much, I have vomited in other flushes that were very successful.

I just wanted to take a moment to remind everyone about the importance of connecting with nature. I think being in nature and appreciating it and loving it are essential to what Shelley would call "vital health." This evening I was experiencing my typical post-liverflush emotional state today (not happy, not sad, just feeling a little uneasy/fragile; kind of in a reflective mood), and I wanted to be alone, so I got outta the house and went to the beach (at night). It was chilly but not too bad (next time I will wear pajamas under my jeans, only my legs were cold). Anyways, I went and lay on the deserted beach against my backpack and a piece of driftwood, totally alone. It was nice but didn't have that feeling of total isolation I desired. I wished to totally escape into nature, but I could still hear the noise of traffic, quietly in the distance on Crescent Rd, mixing with the gentle crashing of the waves in a weird amalgam of sound. I desired to be invisible in the darkness of the night but about 100 feet behind me the light of a lone hydro pole at the side of the road just barely permeated to where I was. To the south out over the Pacific was pure darkness and fog, but to the west across the bay the high pressure sodium lamps of the city gave off their dull orange glow in the distance. I turned on my mp3 and started listening to the soundtrack of "Ghosts of the Abyss," which is basically a documentary about the Titanic (decent music), that has a number of tracks that have a bit of a mysterious, reflective, almost other-worldly sound to them; interesting musical textures. I looked up and it was surprisingly clear (more often than not it's cloudy/rainy this time of year in the Pacific Northwest). For a while I just reflected about what I've done in the past year and wondering not too specifically about what the future holds, while listening to a simple string quartet (beautiful; four part basic harmonic progression and simple tonality at its best. So much sincerity in the final dominant-tonic chords). As I lay there gazing at the sky, I focused my attention on one single star: not the brightest one, in fact fairly dim, twinkling gently. Having taken Astronomy class in uni, I started thinking about just how far away that star really was, the mysterious dark matter and dark energy surrounding it, and how big it was, despite its dim appearance. For a brief few moments, I became completely awe-stricken at the enormity and vastness of the universe, and how tiny earth was; how tiny I was. It was one of those rare moments of pure amazement, and I couldn't help but think "this isn't chance or accident; this is design, intelligence, artistry, and purpose." I stayed out there for about half an hour more before succumbing to the cold, in which time there were a couple shooting stars. Cool, ya? Now I'm tired and ready for a good sleep, but I am sure glad I went out there. I just encourage everyone to make sure to get out and enjoy nature, it's quite therapeutic

Time for rest and dreams, good night everyone~

[RyanD]

Well, I decided to take a week off of chelation to do a no fiber/mostly liquid diet, but it turned into a week of cheating! Aargh! Not terrible cheats, no hydrogenated oils or anything, but not nourishing at all. So I am actually going to DO it starting tomorro, lol. And a liver flush on Saturday. Should be interesting, I've actually never done a fiber free diet, and my tongue is cracked so I need it. One meal as protein shake (I took a month off eggs cos I think I had them too much), one as kefir, one as broth with meat, and strained juice for a snack, plus marshmallow/slip elm, NYF, L-glutamine, N-acetyl glucosamine, colostrum, and aloe vera. We'll see how it goes.

I just made my first ever batch of beef broth, with marrow bones and feet and some meat. Since my parents were out of town I actually let it simmer for 3 days minus a few hours when I was out (can't do that when they're home cos dad gets paranoid about leaving stove on unattended). It looks good, and should last a while! All that gelatin, collagen, healthy fat, minerals, flavor, and so much more! Makes me happy. I gave my dog a small bowl- she appreciated it!

So I am diving head on into an endeavor of extensive research on hair loss, specifically androgenetic alopecia. I must say it is exciting, I am learning a lot! I will soon be developing a new regimen to follow, which I will post. I should do a write up that summarizes my research and post in the vital hair forum, although I might wait until I've done the regimen for 6 months, to see if I actually get results. Your hairline does change as you become an adult, but I have come to believe that hair loss before the age of 25 at the earliest is not normal for ANYONE, rather, it is a symptom. It just isn't right, nope. At times it is depressing having to deal with it but mine isn't too too advanced yet, altho it is noticeable if you look. I admit I do worry about it progressing, and if none of the natural cures work I will not hesitate to try finasteride or minoxidil. It is a little depressing when your father and both grandpa's have better hairlines than you at 22, sigh. There's hope for stem cell research, but it takes time! Bottom line is, however, that I refuse to let it control my life. If it happens I will find a way to deal with it and be happy; I refuse to be victimized.

A musical recommendation for everyone: Prelude in C-Major from Well Tempered Clavier and “Sleepers Awake” BVW 140 (4th movement) by Bach. Get them played on piano. These are very famous common Bach pieces. Not to be pompous, but this is music of the highest quality; restores the soul. I swear by Bach! I should do a post of recommended pieces for restoring balance some time. Here’s my favorite renditions of these pieces on youtube:

Prelude in C:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRBV1WMJtI4

BVW 140 (background music for beginning of a CSI episode; don’t watch the video if the sight of a dead body freaks you out! But I absolutely love this interpretation: not quite the same flow/finesse Bach playing usually has, but it works; this version is more blunt/raw. They do butcher the ending tho)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mfIAEy4IXg

Hope everyone is well! Peace to all.

[RyanD]

So I skipped out on the LF because I ended up visiting a friend for the weekend, and I can't do one this weekend either, so I am planning- with no exceptions- to get one done next week Friday. Gotta get one in before the holidays! Lol.

My research into hairloss continues- I estimate I am about 50-60% done before I will be able to come up with a concrete new plan to attack this motherf***er head on, LOL I am learning a LOT about everything; hormones, endocrine system, etc etc etc. It IS freakin complicated. So many variables, so many complexities. One thing is for sure: the more you study hormones, the more likely you are to become confused! LOL! But I am beginning to see hairloss in a new light: a single symptom, but a result of a variety of interacting problems, and thus requiring a holistic, multi-faceted approach. No magic bullet cure here, otherwise it would have been solved long ago! People who say it's just genetics or DHT and that there's nothing you can do about it haven't done any serious research. It's good because I am starting to view the problem as not as much of a problem or curse or bad luck- but a helpful symptom that can help teach me about my body, because everything is of course connected. I've gained some insights into the "non-hair" health of my body from studying hair health. For example I've been further convinced about the relationship between health and stress. So I am taking steps to lower the stress in my life (I don't have a lot as it is, but anyways), such as re-programming the reaction I would have to hearing my dog bark in the yard. The old me instantly was pissed and smacked the window, the new me practices not reacting negatively and just knocking the window gently so she shuts up. And I AM finally going to start practicing meditation- as soon as I have time to study it a bit on Christmas break.

I have taken a break from chelation these past few weeks to give my kidneys a break. I did get the kidney panel results back and all was well; Creatinine, BUN and electrolytes normal, but I still feel the need to protect them, since there is a history of kidney disease on both sides of the family. I am definitely getting back on it next week tho. One things I've noticed: while I have not been chelating, I have been WAY more prone to depression. Not crazy, stuck in bed depression, never had that, but just a feeling of not being able to be at ease and happy; peace seems to elude me despite no circumstances that would warrant this. And more anxious. Thank god I'm not in school this year, the stress would suck!

I was doing a traffic survey this morning for work (fun, LOL), and just thinking a little bit. I've come to the conclusion that when you do a healing protocol, there are basically 3 ways people will respond or 3 different types of people. First of all, there are the rare people who take a serious interest in what you are doing, who offer genuine support and compassion. Keyword RARE. Haven't met anyone like this yet (in person, that is). Maybe it's time for me to get out there more and try meeting more people... something to think about. Secondly, there are the people who listen and don't think you're crazy, who respect you, but at the same time don't offer any real support or take any real interest in what you do. Maybe it's hard for them to seriously care because they just don't understand the problem, since "fatigue" or "scatter-brain" is considered normal in North American culture. Just pop a coffee, that's the answer to everything! Lol, SO glad I never got on that bandwagon. This is what pretty much all of my friends/family are like. This group makes up the vast majority of the people out there. Then, thirdly, there are those people who will actually respond negatively, by criticizing, ridiculing, or making fun of you. I guess you taking a stand could make them face their own issues, which they might not be ready for, they'd rather have someone to be down in the dumps with them. Luckily I don't know really anyone totally like this, altho some people I know are borderline this description. Of course, I can't judge anyone in group 2 or 3 at all, as I don't know why they are the way they are, all I can really do is try and have compassion. And of course this is just ONE aspect of people. I'm sure there are great people with many gifts and qualities that end up in group 3 just for this specific category. Nevertheless, now that I have solidified these thoughts into a bit of a conclusion, I guess I can make it a goal to be solidly in group #1, whatever the subject may be.

On a happier note, the tree is up and the smell of the essential oil fills the room!

Seasons greetings!

[RyanD]

Ack, WAY overdue for an update! Sheesh!

Well, the holidays were pretty good. Too far away now to think about. We had the worst winter storm in like 50 years or somethin. I was stuck at home for most of the days. Looking forward to spring!

Healthwise, there was some cheating, but geez, it's the holidays! So who cares. It did take two weeks into january to get fully back into things (argh, I hate the transition from holidays to January). I am now chelating, eating a candida diet with reduced grains/starches, liver cleansing, and such. Another flush this friday. The last produced only like maybe 10 miniscule stones, so it will be interesting to see.

My research is coming along! I have learned so much. It's fantastic. I'm currently trying to get it all together into a paper of sorts, I just need to oorganize my stuff otherwise there's chaos, lol! In the coming months I will be *cautiously* experimenting with the following:

- Magnesium Orotate supplementation
- Lithium Orotate supplementation
- Molybdenum chelate supplementation
- Ecklonia kava extract
- Green tea extract
- Possibly vitex
- Fo-ti
- all around glandular extract
- High omega 3/reduced omega 6 diet
- Vitamin K2
- Niacin
- Calcium D-glucarate
- Spruce lignan extract
- Low level laser therapy (I'm making my own laser helmet! what a fun project)

I also just sent my blood away (via spot testing) to a company to determine my blood: total testosterone, estradiol, sex hormone binding globulin, prostate specific antigen (don't need but it came with the package), DHEA, Cortisol, and C-reactive protein. I am looking forward to seeing the results. I tried to get my regular doc to test for these thing but was just given the cold shoulder because I'm too young for any problems. Okay doc. Time to take matters into my own hands.

I think I'm gonna get that lab test done for leaky gut. Mannitol, or whatever it is. I keep going back and forth in terms of think if my guts a bit leaky or not. very annoying. It is bloody hard to find a practitioner that does this test tho.

I've also got a bunch of personal issues on the horizon. Too much to talk about right now, but don't worry, I won't leave it in the dark forever! It feels like things are changing very fast. It is exciting and scary at the same time. Nothing like getting out of your comfort zone, yikes!

Hope everyone's well, take care!

[RyanD]

Done the flush, VERY successful, maybe my best one yet! Over 150 of the super tiny ones and maybe 20 or so bigger ones (1-2cm diameter). Light green to dark green. No epsom salts. I did vomit again, however. It always happens around 6am, I wake up feeling nauseous and just can't get rid of it. Luckily it was only a tiny bit. So next time I will lessen the oil again and hopefully that will do the trick. Another weird observation that occured during past LF's as well is the tooth that was sensitive after my amalgam replacement is sensitive again. It should go away as it has the other times. More toxins = more inflamation I spose. I seriously wonder how many more of these things I hafta do till I'm stone free. i've done about 10 over my "career," and still more stones. And I'm only 22. Can't be that much longer, I hope! I also just got some guggal I am gonna experiment with a bit. fun

[RyanD]

oh my goodness, I've never had such an emotional thing post flush! Yesterday and the day before I was like hardcore depressed for no reason! Even tho it was beautiful and sunny. Just a terrible feeling of like a mix of anxiety and dread and just sadness that I couldn't shake no matter what! And the worst was that I have been so busy I've only done one enema since the LF! Geez! Another one tonight for SURE. Emotionally I feel mostly back to my regular self now... phew.

[RyanD]

Here we are, August 11, and my last post was Feb 5?????? geez! sheesh! How time flies, this summer seems like the fastest ever. It's been HOT here

Well, an update then! Where to start. Health wise things have been pretty good. I've learned a lot in the previous months. My new focus is on three things: bowel, liver, frame.

Bowel- things are pretty good. I have excellent transit time, 12 hrs. I eat kefir almost ever day, and I consume tons of home made pickled stuff: sauerkraut, kimchi (I aDORE!), korean pickled daikon, pickled carrots, pickles, pickled burdock, pickled beets, pickled grape leaves, natto. I also make a big ol' pot of bone broth most weeks. however there is still some work to do. I am gonna take high dose triphala (3 caps with every meal) for a few months and see what that does. I also take slippery elm and marshmallow lozenges, colostrum, L-glutamine, and butyric acid. I am going to get an ELISA food allergy test to see if there is anything I need to avoid. I always get the feeling that my gut has a bit of inflammation/irritation, possibly from food intolerances, despite a good diet. I have some minor forehead acne that I cannot clear despite excellent diet, enemas, and liver regimen, so I think it may be food allergies. I am trying out a bunch of new meats: musk ox, kangaroo, venison, rabbit, duck. For liver, its a break from flushes as I cannot do the oil/juice for a while, yuck! Carrot juice 3x a week, GCG, lecithin, and Liv 52. For frame, I am gonna start going to chiro again in about a month, and actually get back to exercising and work out, and yoga. Just don't feel good being sedentary. I am also gonna try a bit of lugols. After everything I have read it seems the warnings about iodine come mostly from poor research.

Two supplements I really like: Krill oil and Ecklonia cava. I like krill cos I need the w-3's (guys: flax oil is pretty much useless for us; poor conversion rate of ALA to DHA) and Krill is very very potent. It comes in capsules but since it is naturally high in antioxidants it is protected from oxidation. I find swallowing a few of these every day a hell of a lot easier than getting fish oil down, altho I still do take my 2 bottles of CLO a year. EK is a brown algae extract, a potent 40% fat soluble antioxidant that has a half life of 12 hrs, nice! The list of benefits is long, and I can actually feel the difference it makes, especially in the quality of sleep. I get tired so quickly after laying down now, its awesome. Both of these sups are pretty pricey but I find them worth it.

Tomorrow (today actually) I turn 23 years old. The last year or so I have discovered and accepted who I am: gay haha, but seriously, it's been quite a journey of growth this past year, with many ups and so many downs. Growing up in a christian home and being taught that gay = bad bad bad it's taken 12 years or so, since I first "discovered" it to recover from the brainwashing. May 2008 in my theology class in my last semester we watched a documentary called for the bible tells me so, which is the first time in my life I even had the notion that gay is not a "sin" introduced to me. Long story short, I have studied, learned about other people's testimonies, prayed, thought, and FELT my way a whole lot thru this, lots of soul searching. I no longer believe that homosexuality is a sin, nor do I believe the bible speaks against it (rather the few verses have been taken out of context and misinterpreted). Nah, if God really does exist and created the many wonderful, beautiful elements of the world/life, I'm sure he's (or she's.... don't think "he" has a gender) not so stupidly narrow minded as to frown upon two people of the same gender loving each other. That's a human prejudice, just like the outdated notions that women or people of other races are somehow less equal. God is love and where true love is God is there also, I believe. God's expression in creation is diversity, and diversity in love and sexual orientation is a good thing. I am very happy being an expression of creative diversity, I love begin gay, because being gay is being unique! Many, many other christians or people of whatever beliefs believe as I do, I didn't even have a clue until a year ago! Anycase I basically arrived at a point of internal acceptance at xmas and a month later started coming out to ppl. All my friends are fine with it (which is great!), siblings don't seem to care, parents are struggling a lot. My mom cries a lot and my dad never shows any sad emotions so I have no clue what he's feeling. I feel bad for them because they are friends with christians of the middle aged generation, which tend to be very ignorant and judgmental of the issue, so some ppl might be pricks. Funny how two people of the same religion can be soooo different. But my dad said it's time to start telling the extended family, which is good, I've been giving my parents a bit of time b4 telling the rest of the family. We'll see how that goes, could get nasty. Bottom line is I am going to be true to myself, even though that will inevitably involve suffering/rejection. Us gay people have to put up with a LOT of crap straight people don't, specially those of us from religious families. In the end it will be worth it, to be able to be part of the change to a better world for us lgbt people. I feel that this acceptance of myself has started a process of real growth and flourishing of myself. I have grown in my love of diversity and equality and acceptance of all people, not to mention becoming much more self-loving, confident, and much less shy/fake. I now can much more see past the clothes, gender, race, looks, stereotype, age, religion or whatever differential is attached to people and just see the PERSON, the valuable human being. NO judgment, no rejection. Instead, a standard of compassion and love. I think I am learning to see people as Jesus REALLY does, unlike how some religious conservatives might say. But anyways, the situation is often a source of joy, also often a source of stress and pain. It brings a lot of issues to the surface. But always full of PURPOSE. Sometimes it seems overwhelming, all the stuff I need/want to do, but just gotta get at it best I can!

So, 23 and never even had a true kiss. Bit of a late bloomer! Downright depressing sometimes, but things will turn out. It was a hell of a year, and the next will have even more growth if intuition serves correct! I declare the next year to be one of taking chances, being daring, being real and authentic, of thinking and DOING, of loving, of being vulnerable, of learning, and of forming new relationships. Oh ya, and HEALTH too!!!

[Richard]

Hello Ryan,
With respect, I'd like to comment on your concepts concerning "God" and the "diversity" which you speak of, and hopefully, I'll not sound like a bible thumper...
I'm an ole' man now, and probably not as sharp as yourself in many areas, but do have some concepts of my own that I've come to realize over the years.. One is that I believe there is more "oneness" found in "Unitiy" opposed to "Diversity". Wars and disagreements are common with diversity between peoples and nations, whereas, Unity brings about peace and the workings of togetherness between peoples and nations.
As for your lifestyle and personal choices in life, you have and will continue to make mistakes on your personal journey through your life, but this is the purpose of this life here on earth, is to grow and learn from our experiences, both good and bad.
I've got this ole' saying, that I use to tell my kids when they were very young, is: "This world is likened unto a large Sand Box that was intelligently designed or created especially for us to grow in, and all of humankind upon the face of this planet is likened unto God's children, who must grow and learn how to share, care and get along with one another, as peoples, nations and as individual spirits housed in a temporal body... When we can do this, then we are ready for our next step to progress to yet a higher level of awareness and continued growth."
We are not here to "judge" one another, lord only knows that there is too much back-biting in the world already, so needless to say Ryan, I for one agree with you on the value of true love... which simply means "caring for one another" as God cares for us.

[RyanD]

Hey Richard~

Totally missed your post...oops. Yup, you don't sound like a "bible thumper" at all! I really appreciate your kind words. It's like it's nice to know someone cares LOL! When I read your text I get a feeling that your wise, but probably too humble to admit it

I think we agree on diversity and unity? To be more clear, I sort of believe in diversity within unity, if that makes sense. Like obviously there are differences in the universe.... palm trees & pine trees, white people & black people, straight & gay, bach and new age music, etc etc. But there are overriding or transcending elements that bind these differences together... like white & black people = common bond of humanity and everything that encompasses, gay & straight = love between two people, bach & new age music = delving deeper into life and understanding via pitch, rhythm, and timbre. The examples are infinate. The point is to see and embrace the unity, and then marvel at the differences. NOT be b*****es about the differences and use it as a pathetic excuse to hate. Diversity within unity is like layer upon layer of wonder and artistry. The true splendor of the universe can only exist with all the different parts existing in harmony, not unlike our own bodies. In other words, the unification of diversity (while keeping diversity intact) is sort of an ultimate goal type of thing. I think people who realize this are truly enlightened... and have a responsiblitity to lead by example. It's one of the reasons I'm glad I'm gay. It has allowed me to see people in a totally new way. Anyways I don't know how coherent this is I'm sort of just spouting here!

Your comment about growth is soooo true. Sometime I cannot believe the rate at which I have changed and am continuing to change, it's a little scary. Young ambition, I suppose! Hopefully in 7 years when I'm like 30 I'll be able to look back and say "whew.... can't believe how far I've come."

The sandbox quote is gold. Your kids are lucky.

Anyways, thanks again. I appreciate your wisdom