Ryan D.

[RyanD]

Well, I've been hanging around this site for about a year and a half now, so I figure it's high time I start a journal. Hehe, I'm looking forward to it. This will probably be quite a long post (I can't help it, I just always feel like I have to be so thorough...lol!). I guess I'll start by just sharing a bit about me, health and non-health related:
- 21 years old, born August 12, 1986
- I was born and raised and still live in the Pacific Northwest, specifically Vancouver, BC, Canada, and I love it here. The temperate climate, the mountains, the ocean, the rainforest, the rain, the sun. It's just so fresh and beautiful.
- I definitely consider myself a Christian, although I feel absolutely no attachment to any specific denomination. My beliefs are deep but quite unorthodox; I am open to and am interested by other belief systems, if you can call them that.
- In my last year (one more semester to go!) of a Bachelor of Music Degree, specializing in classical guitar. I'm studying in Edmonton AB, which is, er, a little more cold/dead than Vancouver...lol oh well. Music is my first love but I have a very diverse range of interests, such as nature and the outdoors, different cultures and diversity, natural sciences (as opposed to sciences like economics or politics), palm trees and other exotic plants (thankfully there are a few species of palms that can grow in Vancouver ), outdoor activities and *non-competitive* sports, and of course, health and wellbeing, which I started getting into about two years ago and I absolutely love it! I take sincere pleasure in learning about and practicing (or trying to hehehe) the different aspects of health, from physical to emotional to spiritual. This site has been the foundation in my health endeavors thus far; I really have learned sooo much thanks to Shelley. She is truly a shining gem.

Now let's get down to business, shall we?? Here is a quick tour of my "health history" and what I *think* is causing my current symptoms:

- My dosha is kind of tri-doshic but more vata than anything else, except I don't really have the vata characteristic of dryness. I am thin (fast metabolism) but my hair is more thick and wavy than fine, my innards feel more moist than dry, etc. Quite a mix of characteristics from all three doshas I suppose. Sometimes I can't even decide what I am!
- Plenty of silver fillings, four of which are still in my mouth (grr...lol)
- An insufficient diet growing up, nutritionally speaking. I mean, it was by no means terrible, not like my parents served Pepsi with every meal, but at best it could be could be described as the average North American who generally thinks their diet is adequate, yet of course in reality, it is totally insufficient. I ate a satisfactory (perhaps less than) amount of veggies and meat growing up, but plenty of pasteurized/homogenized milk/dairy, the usual bread/lipton pasta/rice-a-roni carb servings, cold cereals for breakfast, and of course partook of liberal consumption of sugar (I recall even as a child sneaking lots of sweets. I'm pretty sure I had way more sugar than the average kid), and refined products in general, with all the glorious additives, bad fats, refined salt, MSG, etc etc that accompany them. Ate TONS of crap in my teens... yikes! Certainly not near enough minerals. Thankfully (lol) I got tendonitis two years ago which interfered with my guitar playing. After the oh-so-typical waste of time and money trip to the doc, I decided to take matters into my own hands, which I often do, and in this case the personal trait turned out to be quite a blessing! I happened to stumble upon Curezone and then this site... what fantastic luck! Other than poor diet, I've never really had any major health ailments. Moderate acne at most, never broken any bones, no learning disabilities, never had to take extensive antibiotics or medication (only very periodically because I did get relatively frequent ear infections as a child), never had any major allergies. I was moderately active but never athletic; I didn't play sports. Never drank as much water as I should have.
- Consequently, I think what all this added up to is a lot of congestion, a dirty liver, dirty bowels and lymph, a misshapen colon probably with diverticula, possibly mercury toxicity, possibly parasites, adrenal fatigue, candida & leaky gut (both of which I'm sure I have but not as severe as the worst cases), and a bad case of poor posture.
- The latter have manifested into the following symptoms: brainfog, moderate acne, general lack of energy, not the greatest sleep, irritability, gas (not a huge problem but I just can't seem to get rid of it once and for all), some digestive complaints, memory lapses, some anxiety, difficulty concentrating, occasional mild depression and a nearly ever-present feeling of a lack of joy and motivation; dreariness, as if I am robbed of some happiness that should accompany youthfulness.
- Here is what I have done in the past: as I first learned about cleansing, I cleansed on and off for about a year. I kept having relapses and just could not past those God-awful cravings for junk. Well, I learned a lot about deficiencies and everything else, and gradually started eating healthier and made my own-home made kefir, which I have been enjoying semi-regularly for about 7 months. I did a two-week fast with Shelley's fiber shakes, and got out what I think was MP. Of course I fell off the wagon several times after that. Well, this past October I finally had enough knowledge and understanding of the root of my problems that I was able to go on a strict candida-diet. I admit that these last two weeks have been less than satisfactory, with even a couple cheats involving a substantial amount of refined sugar and gluten , but I have picked myself up and recovered. Lol... oh the joys of trying to survive cleansing during the holidays... yikes! These cheats came about two and a half months into the diet, and surprisingly did not harm me that much, perhaps because I have already been on kefir for several months (got a bit of fatigue and brain fog, but honestly wasn't that bad. Tongue stayed surprisingly clear and pink the whole time, even after I stuffed myself... weirdness). I am happy with my tongue, before I started it was SO pale and coated and now it is mostly just a nice healthy pink. I admire it's progress in the mirror So anyways I am planning to stick to candida diet for a while yet, probably at least two or three months, but allowing myself some later stage foods such as the low sugar fruits, coconut milk, blackstrap molasses, rice milk, etc. Just got a grain grinder for Christmas so I'm looking forward to making my own gluten free flours and cereals! Woohoo! I'm gonna consume more calories and tonifying foods as well, since I have dropped 10 pounds (down to 135... and I'm 6' 2) since starting the diet. I have also done three liver flushes (more on the way), two bottles of liver herbs, plenty of adrenal herbs, deep flushing enemas, juicing, pungent therapy, and bowel management. I've been to and am continuing to see a good chiropractor.
- I have made progress and am generally feel better. I still have all my symptoms but they are somewhat lessened. Still, I got a long way to go; I would by no means describe my improvement thus far as dramatic or miraculous. I do not feel like a new person. I plan on doing some intensive colon care. It's out of shape and needs to be dealt with. Plenty of aloe, triphala, marshmallow/slippery elm, and a soothing diet plus Shelley's prolapsed colon protocol. I was gonna start this before Christmas but got way to busy thanks to exams... that was a crappy time! I'm gonna continue the cleansing protocols for other areas as well. Just keep cleansing!
- I know that I am making progress because recently my healing has progressed to a new level, the deeper emotional level. I know that I have a lot of repressed emotions, and that they have been locked away deep down, but I can feel that they are starting to be stirred up and are beginning to surface. I need to do some research in this area to assist the healing process as much as possible. I have been for several chiro adjustments but never experienced an emotional release afterwards, perhaps because I just wasn't ready for it. I still have a nasty crack down the center of my otherwise healthy tongue, which I attribute both to repressed emotions along the spine and also LG. Last semester was the worst ever in terms of sheer busyness, so I'm hoping that with much more time this semester I will be better aware of emotional health and release at least some of what is buried in there. I really do think that carrying around all this emotional baggage at this point in time is a primary culprit of many of my symptoms, so I am definitely gonna dedicate a lot of effort to this area. I think I'm gonna get a few deep-tissue massages; I can feel that I have a lot of tension stored in my body. One thing's for sure, I cannot keep all this inside anymore, I gotta start opening up more to people I trust with my feelings if I hope to accomplish true healing. This will be hard for me to do since I really haven't opened up fully to anyone, ever. Not that I don't have good friends or anything, I just keep my deepest emotions safeguarded within myself. I guess this journal is a good place to have a start, even if it's just a small baby-step thanks to the relative anonymity provided by the internet. I think, I just need to stop ignoring my emotions and really examine them and learn from them, or just allow them to be experienced fully. I wanna spend some time on my relationships, deepening them. I am a bit of a needy person, lol, and I need lots of physical contact and affection (just friendship-wise) to feel fulfilled, something which currently is mostly lacking, probably due to my own lack of effort. Sigh. I guess what this all adds up to is a deficiency in human connection and love, coupled with a great deal of already existing emotional baggage. I don't yet know exactly how to begin healing all this, but I have finally fully realized and acknowledged the problem and am ready to start dealing with it. I just can't accept going through life suppressing those feelings and longings, and instead filling the void with artificial fulfillment via junk food or whatever, like I used to, without even really knowing it. Evidently it's gonna take more than just a diet and liver flushes to achieve true healing for me.
- Well, anyways, this post is WAY too long! LOL! Okies, I promise I'll give updates on progress. Thanks for reading, if you ever could get to the end of this novel! peace and love

[RyanD]

Time for an update! Back in Edmonton, back to school. Semester's looking pretty good. Diet has been ok. I spent a lot of time tonight mapping out a tentative timeline for the next little while of cleansing. Overall it's gonna put more focus on tonifying than the last four months, but not quite yet. Starting tomorrow (or today I guess) I'm gonna do a 7-day parasite expulsion protocol. I really don't know if I have any, but my symptoms seem to be staying kind of the same, so I wanna see if maybe parasites are causing some trouble. If not, oh well. I figure I'm clean enough and I do have a quick transit so I'm not worried about the parasites causing trouble as they exit, if I even have any. Gonna do a liver flush this weekend, on Saturday I think. Then, after the parasite protocol, I'm gonna do a 5-day juice fast. It just feels like a good time to do it. The purpose of this is to detox but mostly just to help my gut, which is at least somewhat leaky and misshapen, so I think it deserves a break and a chance to heal some. I'm quite excited, I've never done a fast like this, the only ones I've done had fiber shakes. I'll also add in some aloe vera juice, I just bought 2 gallons of the stuff! LOL. Also gonna take more triphala and just got some bulk marshmallow and slippery elm to add to gruel, so hopefully these things will help with the leaky gut. Oh yeah, colostrum too. Also, I think I've been having a little too much leeway with my diet lately, I really should be on the Candida diet, but lately I've had some stuff that's a little iffy. And once you're having that stuff its hard to go back to a strict diet, so hopefully the fast can be a fresh start of a more strict diet. After the fast, my new focus will be on food allergies, besides all the other cleansing/management. I really wanna start paying closer attention to how different foods affect me, so I'm gonna start doing the pulse test on everything, and really noting symptoms after meals. I suspect hidden allergies may be a big culprit of my symptoms. So, I'm gonna make a big list of foods, and go on a diet of only foods that I've never eaten or foods that I've only eaten on occasion in the past, and am 100% sure I'm not allergic to, and gonna rotate these safe foods to make sure they don't become allergies. Lots of planning!! Gonna cut out LOTS of foods, and then one by one reintroduce to see what's ok and what's not. Hmm... its gonna probably be weird, but actually I'm excited to try all those veggies and alternative grains I just haven't gotten around to yet. Time to broaden the horizons And after that, well, who knows! We'll see when we get there. peace

[RyanD]

Darn, looks like I'll have to postpone the parasite cleanse and whatnot until Saturday, since I'm going out for lunch on Friday and will prob end up having something that isn't fit for the parasite cleanse. Oh well!

[RyanD]

Okay, now here we go with the parasite cleanse, for real this time. lol. I just got my shipment of fresh spices and herbs from mountainroseherbs.com, and I gotta say I am impressed! Such deep colours, and WAY more aromatic then the spices I got now, which are about a year old (definitely time for a restocking). They're really potent, so that's nice. With the spices I also got 2 pounds each of slippery elm and marshmallow powder, so I'm gonna start making gruel with non-gluten grains, marshmallow/SE and some stevia or something, for leaky gut. I actually like the taste of slippery elm. So, we'll see what happens. I'll let you guys know. peace

[RyanD]

Well, been on the parasite expulsion protocol for a bit now, and so far nothing. I do see tons of little whitish or greenish things after an enema, but they just look like tiny pieces of pumpkin seeds, since I am eating 1/2 cup of those per day. I can't tell for sure if theres parasites coming out, and if I don't see anything definitive I'm just gonna assume I don't have 'em. I've decided to do the protocol longer than a week, until next Wednesday, and then start my juice fast Thursday, since I have an exam Wednesday and don't wanna be fasting during that. lol! So far most days have been bearable for die-off, although sometime I wake up feeling so weak I barely have the energy to do morning routines. Ya know, its like some wizard taped you with their magic wand and zap! Sucks every ounce of your energy away. Plus stupid brain fog. It really sucks being in class and not being able to absorb barely anything. The prof says one thing, and then two sentences later I forget what he said in the first sentance. Meh, well, all part of the process. I'm looking forward to the fast and then a period of a slightly more relaxed candida diet with some tonification. Should be good. I just ordered a bunch of books, some dealing with emotional release. It's exciting!

[RyanD]

Well, here we go with a liver flush tonight. I haven't done one since last December. Prep was good, lots of ACV and some green apples plus lecithin. The only thing is I ate fats today, a bowl of kefir at 5pm. Whoops! Lol. Oh well, I guess this will be a good experiment, and from the sounds of it, is seems it doesn't even matter that much. Yuck... that gross oil mixture... oh well, not like its anything I haven't done before.
Ya know, sometimes I have to just laugh at myself just for how different I am from the regular college guy. Most people eating like crap, drinking a ton, partaking in all kinds of emotional drama, etc etc. Not that I judge them at all, its just funny to laugh at myself sometimes for how "weird" I am. Doing liver flushes, going on candida diets and parasite cleanses, drinking tea and cleansing drinks, meditating, eating a ton less calories. LOL! Other times I feel saddened that I can't partake of all the aspects of normal college life (especially like going out for ice cream or something... since I am pretty restricted because I'm in the cleansing stage), but I quickly reaffirm that ultimately I would much rather have this knowledge and live my lifestyle then be oblivious and be enjoying junk. It'll all be for the best.
I'm hoping to have some sort of emotional release from the LF, but I seriously doubt it. It seems I never have emotional releases from LF or chiro adjustments, but then again I've always been so busy when I was doing them so maybe I just wasn't observing enough. Good thing this is an easier semester. It seems that the only times I have had releases is when something actually happens after the flush/adjustment, like if I get in an argument or something happens to make me feel lonely. And obviously I can't just create those situations at will. I'm gonna start reading "Feelings Buried Alive Never Die" by Karol Truman. Should be good. I feel quite optimistic and happy right now. But that oil/grapefruit! Ack! Oh the things we put ourselves through to be healthy...haha.

[RyanD]

Dang... I chickened out of the flush. I still felt that some kefir was in my stomach at around 10pm, so I decided to postpone. I guess I'll do it next weekend or the weekend after that. Oh well. At least I'm almost done the parasite cleanse. And next Thursday starts the juice fast. I am very excited about that. I'm curious to see how it will affect the crack on my tongue, since the only fasts I've ever done have had fiber shakes.

[RyanD]

Well, I actually had a bit of an emotional release today. I don't know why, but I had quite an urge to eat lecithin today. I must have eaten 5-6 tablespoons, and I guess they emulsified some junk in my liver and released it. So along with that came anger, which many of us have come to associate with the liver. I got in a really cranky mood after trying to read a textbook for class while having brainfog. Doesn't help that the author constantly flaunts big scholarly words needlessly and has to spread his point out over numerous long grueling paragraphs. It's nice that he's gifted intellectually and whatnot, but sometimes I lose patience and it's like geez, just shut up and say it how it is already. Anyways, I just felt really angry which is always unusual for me since I'm not an angry person, although I certainly do have some repressed anger from earlier in life. I don't really know good techniques for releasing anger. For sadness obviously you just cry, but for anger... hmm I'll have to research. Anyways I just listened to some really dark music and let the anger flow freely with the music/lyrics. Feel better now.

[RyanD]

Well, parasite cleanse done, nothing definitive seen. So I guess I'll just assume I don't have any. Now I'm going to start my juice fast tomorrow. I'll either do 5 days or a week, depending on how I feel. I decided to wait because I spent the weekend at a farm with some friends, which was great, lots of laughing, and I didn't wanna be fasting. I'm also really happy that it's almost lent, since now it will be much easier for me to just refuse sugar/junk without having to explain everything, I can just say I gave it up for lent, which is true anyways. So much easier when you live in a college dorm and everyone is always inviting you over for a dessert or offering you chips during a movie or whatever. I'm excited to fast; first juice fast ever. We'll see how it goes.

[RyanD]

Well, got the juice fast done. It feels good to be back on food, fasting is a little wearisome for my vata body. Now I'm spending some serious time getting my colon back to health. I'm going on a diet of only foods I've never eaten before or foods I only ate sporadically before. No rice, beef, soy (except lecithin), chicken, or any of the other common stuff. And I'm gonna rotate it so I don't become allergic to the new stuff. I spent a whack load of money on veggies, grains, and meats that I've never tried before, which is kind of exciting! Trying new things is cool. I fell pretty good, and I'm really looking forward to spring. We had -38 Celcius in Edmonton a couple weeks back! Bad for me, being vata-kapha! I'm ready for more sun exposure and outdoor exercise. Reading week is next week, so I'm looking forward to relaxing. I'm gonna go get a massage! Lol, first time ever, and it's gonna be deep-tissue/neuromuscular, so I imagine it may be a bit painful! Anyways, I am looking forward to it nonetheless. Take care everybody!

[RyanD]

Been a WHILE, hey? Lol... gotta get back in the gear of keepin' this thing updated. Well, the snows almost gone in Edmonton... but supposed to snow again tomorrow... ugh I was meant for warmer climes . That's what it's like here... you get a taste of spring weather and then wham, old man winter's right back. Oh well... soon enough it'll be nice.

Things lately have been, well, not good at all. The main thing has been dealing with the passing of a friend who was also one of my roommates 3 weeks ago. He was in a car accident on the way home for reading week and after 3 days in the hospital in which it seemed like he was improving and had a good chance of pulling through, despite our ardent prayers, he went into a coma and an MRI declared him braindead. It was of course a shock and quite an ordeal for everyone. We had the opportunity to attend the funeral over in BC. The viewing was kind of strange, it didn't really look like him and you can really see that without the soul the body is completely empty. The burial was equally somber, it felt like a movie, everyone dressed in black, cold, spittering rain, and windy. The service itself, however, was beautiful, and it got sunny later on. Our religion has been the main source of comfort. It was nice to have some closure. So everyone works through the grieving process in different ways. It feels more like back to normal life now, although I'm sure I still have some grief with me that will have to be dealt with. The amazing thing is that because of the rare nature of his death, he way able to donate all 7 vital organs, all of which were accepted successfully.

I'm also dealing with another friend who is suicidal right now. Don't really know what to do... I feel like I've said everything I can, and all I can do now is continue to offer encouragement and pray. I tried to offer him health advice and told him to get help himself, but he's not interested. He told me not to worry but I haven't heard from him in three days and I have no way of contacting him, since he's not responding to email/phone. Sigh...

Of course trying to keep up with school is a pain with all this going on. Lol, it's more of a nuisance than actual learning. But on the bright side, I am graduating in less than two months with my music degree, and I at least have full time work for the summer. What a year this has turned out to be...

Health-wise, I was not able to keep up the cleansing diet through the trauma, nor did it even seem that important. I am planning to get right back at it starting this weekend. Should be good. Plus now I can get more sun since it's warming up. There's just nothing like the sun/exercise combo to pep you up! I am also looking to getting the results from my hair analysis back soon. Should be very interesting... I HIGHLY suspect mineral "drama" may be playing a role in my symptoms. It's exciting to actually know something, not just use the old hit-miss approach! Lol. Also getting a re-exam with my chiro, since I completed my series of 12 adjustments this past Monday. That should be cool too. I'll soon have a better idea what I'll be focusing on in the future months. I definitely wanna get more into exercise this summer, which is not hard, since I live in a beautiful place and outdoor exercise is something I love! I wanna make it part of my lifestyle, not just some slave thing that I force myself to do.

I'm giving health advice to some people I know thanks to the knowledge I've learned from Shelley and other sources. It's great to spread the word. Slowly I'm "converting" people to our ways. LOL! I've worked up quite a reputation for being a health nut around here, which I am very proud of . I love giving "health lessons" to people who are interested.

Well, that's about it for now! Gotta go soak those mung beans and give the ol' kefir jar a gentle shake.

[RyanD]

Been a while since the last entry; it's high time for an update. Done school, got my music degree, and now am just working for the time being. Doing pretty good with health, sticking to a pretty good diet. And now that the weather's warmed up, it's time to TAN!!! Lol . Seriously tho, I haven't gone camping for the last few years and I haven't gotten a healthy season of vitamin D for a long time. I've been sunbathing in the afternoon and it's great! I'm hoping to get a bit stricter on my diet for a little while, it has slipped a bit in the last little bit. I'm doing a pretty high protein diet, with plenty of eggs and a decent amount of meat, and I really do feel better on it.

The main thing on my mind healthwise is th removal and replacement of my four silver amalgams. I've recently determined beyond any reasonable doubt that the mercury is affectning me negatively, via tests and just the fact that my symptoms correspond very much symptoms of Hg poisoning. I'm reading Cutler's Amalgam Illness, and it's pretty good so far. I recently found a decent composite called Diamondlite, which seems to be the best composite out there, free of bisphenol-a and other toxins. It's great! I hope to get 'em out before the end of the month. Gonna do chelation 3 months later. Hopefully then I can get my mineral levels sorted. I'm quite excited for this! Maybe, there is a bit of light at the end of the tunnel coming.

[RyanD]

Counting down.... 6 days till amalgam removal. I'm SO excited to get the damn mercury death outta my mouth. Found a disturbing clip about amalgams on youtube... check it out if you want:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylnQ-T7oiA

I haven't done lecithin for a while and I just started a couple days ago in the protein shake (I live off that thing! I'm adding carob lately and it's YUM) and whoa the emotional releases have started. Lecithin does it to me every time... it's insane. It's not really the sad emotions but I just feel SO frusterated and angry for little reasons that should cause that much of a reaction. I have crazy thoughts and I swear a lot. So I guess there's still a bit of gunk in my liver. I haven't done flushes for quite a while cos I just can't STAND that oil/juice drink... the worst thing ever! I'm gonna look up anger release techniques tonite... gotta do something cos at home I just can't really release it cos for whatever reason I am just no comfortable at all in showing negative emotions in front of my family. Wish I could get some privacy to do some release, but it doesn't look likely around here. I might take up running. Gotta remember to do that energy cleanse thingy in my room too. I ordered Julia's tinctures and see what that does. Nyways, gonna get going, until later~

[Monique]

Does lecithin do that to you? Thats kind of fascinating. I usually dont feel any different when I take it?

[RyanD]

Yes, it has quite a reaction for me. Not always like every time, but every time I take it when I haven't had it for say a week or so.

Ok, I am amalgam FREE!! YAY! My new fillings (diamond lite) are great, I've still got a bit of sensitivity since they were quite deep, and I can't really chew as hard as before yet, but I'm hoping that will subside within a few weeks. Sill, anything is better than the mercury. I am gonna let Hg levels equalize for a few months and then its time to do some thorough chelation via Cutler's protocol. I'm just getting a list of things together of stuff to take to protect kidneys and liver and the like. Well, it's hot today, time to go to the beach!