Looking for the light...

[Kamala]

Hi Shelley,

I am feeling very discouraged because I have been "fogged in" for what seems like forever now (years really tho it is worse sometimes than others). So I am writing just to kvetch and get some encouraging thoughts from you and anyone else who has thoughts on this.

I just returned from a year down in Mexico, and am taking a grad school entrance exam in 3 days, am applying to temp agencies, and generally putting life back together here in Washington state. I am doing Clarkia, staying off sugar, and trying to learn to eat the things you have suggested for Candida survivors.

My problem is that I am so foggy--I am constantly making mistakes. This feels like such a long-standing pattern that I know I need to make a major shift in my lifestyle in order to not keep living in this fog. (In the past I have been better when I drank coffee but then I would inevitably succumb to massive fatigue.) Right now, my sleep is not good which compounds my foggy mistake-making. I have also lost 20 pounds from a normal vata frame.

I am trying not to judge myself--I am taking on a lot with all the changes, but I feel very bad every time yet ANOTHER person, potential employer, etc., calls me on my mistakes. I want to wear a big badge telling people that I have just recently discovered my candida and it may take me a while to be a functional human being again!

I guess my question is whether you went through a period of discouragement over your candida and whether you had brainfog? It would be encouraging to me to hear if you or others have had low points but then later saw improvements and triumphed in good health!
Other than that, I am just whining to on this board because I know some of you may have been where I am today. Thanks for listening!

[shelley]

Whining is totally allowed. In fact, it's a sport - the best whiner gets a gold medal!

Yes, I had terrible terrible brain fog. It was the main reason why I kept searching and trying things out - I just HAD to get my brain back. I was so tired of seeing the world dimly, feeling it dimly, unable to concentrate or truly be involved. Cotton headed, that's how I was.

And if I wasn't totally tired I was irritable. I was so irritable it was incredible. I turned into the biggest witch of the West! My neighbors probably thought I was crazy. They had this poor dachsand that went bonkers from being left alone all day - two paycheck marriage people should not own companion dogs. It barked and barked, never stopped. And of course it was that high-pitched yappy bark that is really annoying, even to a dog lover!

Thanks to being sick and kind of crazy I couldn't NOT hear it, even if I put on wave sounds, music, movies, whatever. I left them note after note asking them to do something for the poor thing. they never did. To this day I don't think they believe that I could hear it. Sometimes I want to just go over there and say Hey! I had cancer and was undergoing chemo! LOL! because that's something people understand. They don't understand candida.

[Kamala]

That's me! I think it's my liver full of toxins...or that's what I'm hoping. I have the same thing as you describe--fatigue, anger, fatigue, anger. I know serenity lies in living and letting live--in the mind that doesn't fixate--but I get so MAD at people!

And I can't seem to "see" the world and act effectively in it. The solution will be sitting on my shoulder and I will call 911 for help (LOL).

On another note, does anyone talk about having dreams that guide them in their healing? I dreamt over a year ago that I had what seemed like brocolli growing out of my shin. I tried to pull it out but it broke off and remained embedded. I then had repeated dreams that plants were growing in me to my horror. I didn't know about the rhizome stage back then. I now think it was my intuition telling me I have some bad-ass candida. I've told some people this but they look at me like I don't have all my paddles in the water. I believe in it though because my dreams have often led me correctly in the past.

I need to have courage around this disease because I suspect I have had candida for a long long time. I have to remember that I have a powerful arsenal at my disposal! But I am confused right now over whether the sugar or the lack of sugar makes my brain fog worse. It is pretty bad right now and my diet has been fairly clean for the last 6 days at least.

Time sure goes slow when you can't eat a lot of things!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shelley]

Oh yes, dreams do lead one to proper diagnoses and often treatment. It's common to dream about parasites.

I know one person who did a typical guided meditation and was given broccoli by her Guides. She had no idea what it meant and was kind of embarrassed because the rst of the group got much fancier gifts.

Then she got into Flower Essences and kept testing positive for Broccoli, which helps one get back in touch with playfulness, healthy priorities, get rid of the 'doom and gloom' outlook. I tested positive for it for a long long time. So her Guides gave her exactly what was needed.

Getting clean and well-nourished makes reaching Nirvana a heck of a lot easier!