Helping my Mom

[Pam]

Well back home from helping take care of my mom. For those of you that don't know, my mom is and has been an insulin dependent diabetic most of her adult life. Five years ago she had to go on dialysis as her kidneys quit. While she was in the hospital getting her tube inserted permantly in her abdomen she had a stroke which affected the part of her brain that we use to make conversation. By that I mean sometimes she makes up words, that are not real words, but sound right to her. She has trouble getting names right yet and telling people what she wants, as she cannot remember the right word. For instance when she wants french toast she tells you she wants dirt and bread. It took me awhile but I finally figured out what alot of her words mean. I also made sure I corrected her each time, by giving her the right word. She gets so frustrated when she can't think of the right word she wants to say. Also she is confined mostly to a wheelchair as she got gangrene in a small sore on her big toe which over the last couple of years has required the removal of half of her left foot. She hates this by the way as my mom has always been a very strong, hard working person. With 6 kids she had to be. It was an interesting month, but I did find foods she really liked and got her to eating 3 times a day most days. She still had a few days that she just would not eat much. She really liked the Emergen-C, I just gave it to her in very small doses, like a shot glass full twice a day. she liked the way it made her feel. She loved the basmati rice stir fries with olive oil and garlic. Her fav food, and would eat it 3 times a day when I made it. Even got my dad hooked on it and I taught him how to cook it. He made a very willing and adept student altho he never cooked a day in his life until my mom could no longer cook. Cooking to him was throwing red meat on the grill outside and charring it until done.
SHe is on alot of medications one of them being a blood thinner, after one major stroke and a couple of smaller ones, they are trying to make sure it dosen't happen again. But with her new eating habits, plus the blood thinner, her stomach ulcers really started bleeding, and that entailed a trip to the hospital for 2 pints of frozen plasma and 2 pints of blood.
Her potassium was low when she got home so I made up a batch of Shelleys potassium broth, which by the way she loved and fed it to her, the blood test two days later showed her potassium was all better. I understand that all I did is not going to change much, but it made her feel better enough to go outside with me and plant some flowers. To me that was a major hurdle, she never wanted to go out before, we even went shopping for new clothes for her. Her idea We are still taking it day by day and I know one day I will receive that dreaded call but I will know with Shelleys help and getting to spend quality time with my mom, I will be able to handle it.
Thank you Shelley for all your advice that you gave me.

[ivana]

Oh Pam I am so sorry for your mum,
I started crying at the end of it , I hope she will feel better.
I am helping my mom with her high cholesterol, she had by pass operation couple of years ago and is battling with cholesterol now as well. I totally understand you when you say about the phone call, I am afraid to pick up the phone even now, and very often I have some bad toughs and I started preparing myself for the worse.
Be strong and keep up Pam, there is nothing else you can do
God bless you


ivana

[Pam]

my mom passed away peacefully in her sleep July 3, 2005. I will miss her terribly, but I had a whole month of happiness and silliness with her. I knew when I left to come home that for the whole month she had been trying to help me say goodbye. I am sure she knew she was not going to see me again and we filled that month with more memories than I will ever be able to forget.
Thank you Shelley for helping me to make my moms last month comfortable and also a huge hug for helping me help her so we would have the fun we did.

[itslaura]

Pam, I'm very sorry for your loss. It's been more than 20 years since my mom died and I still miss her so much. Hang in there!

[ivana]

Oh Pam, I am so sorry to hear this
I am glad that you spent the last month with her though. Try to remember only the good things.
Once again, I am really sorry for your loss.

ivana

[Pam]

Thank you Ivana
My feelings are that she is finally at peace with no machines helping her to body to work. something she detested.

[Guest]

Pam,
I want to offer words of comfort, but am drawing a blank.

I am so sorry your mom had to go. But, you are right that she is at peace. Take comfort in that, and in being able to have spent the time with her towards the end.

Big hug to you.
Treasure all the little momments you shared. Those you will keep in your heart and memory always.
Hamony