The pharmacist.

[alien]

A man was met at the door by his sobbing wife.
Tearfully, she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."
Immediately the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say a word, the druggist said, "Now, wait a minute, listen to my side of the story.
This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I locked the house with both house keys and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Then, driving too fast, I got a speeding ticket. When I was about three blocks from the store, I got a flat tire. When I finally got here, there was a line of people waiting for me to open up.
I got the store open and started waiting on these people, and all the time, the darn phone was ringing off the hook. Then I had to break a roll of nickels on the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels. The phone was still ringing. When I stood up, I cracked my head on the cash drawer which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. All of them hit the floor and broke.
Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.......
and believe me, mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."